Human

Even though it’s my birthday week, I am not talking about the type of sobering that involves alcohol. . .  Craig was laid off last night at 7:05 and we spent the evening shell-shocked and anxious.  No matter how much we tried to stay optimistic, or prayed, or made bitter jokes about how he could spend his time, the reality of not having a job really hit home.

That event made me think about a lot of things:  marrying sooner than June, how to put him on my insurance plan if we did, moving somewhere if he found a job, and then of course Teach For America, and my students.

You see, this week was also exam week, and one of the essay prompts in my Literature classes asked my students to explain why they think Obama’s election is a memorable historical event and if they have seen “Change” yet.  If so, how, yada yada.  SO many of them wrote their essays about how they think Obama will turn the economy around, and about how “so many people been affected by the bad economy.”  As 14 year-olds, I think they had a better understanding of that reality than I do at 23.  That in and of itself is sobering.

With having a roof over my head, warm food in my belly, and a never-ending supply of love in my life, I hope and pray that my students can have the same.  (Maybe it would help them focus on school a little more!)

One of the other teachers at my school just told me that I must be a horse whisperer, because when I was gone for Grandma’s funeral, my students were just crazy.  I’m not sure if it’s cause and effect or simpler correlation, but I was happy to hear that!  That’s my silver lining for the day, that’s for sure. . .

I thought Madison was Halloween-crazy, but in retrospect, that was just the UW-Madison campus…  In Chicago, everywhere I go, there is talk and decoration in preparation for the upcoming holiday.  It is strange to me, the way that some of the shop windows have cute, cuddly-looking pumpkins and scarecrows, while others look like something from a horror movie.

These things remind me even more of the disparities between the safety here in my neighborhood and the very dangerous pieces of Halloween that haunt my students.  The clowns in overalls attacking children and teens, the scariness of walking to school and being shot at with frozen paintballs, or yolked with eggs.  Ah, Halloween.  A day of tricks and treats, for sure.

I hope my students stay safe, and that they come to school prepared to focus on the tasks at hand, instead of thinking too worriedly about the outside world.  That is a prayer of mine everyday, but more and more I am realizing how important of a prayer it is.

My role in helping my students to do that is definitely to keep my lessons engaging and new.  Short movie clips,  powerpoint presentations, art, hands-on work, and discussion have all proven to be effective for this.  I hope that I can continue to help them with staying focused so that their reading and writing skills improve over the course of the year!!!

Chicago Public Schools has a day off today, for teacher inservices.  We’re here.  So far, though, my classes have been less than half full today…  Wow.  My students’ attendance overall has been pretty good; out of my classes of 25-30 students, usually 20-25 are in class.  (The same is not true for the sophomores and juniors.)

I have often wondered if it is acceptable for me to almost hope that sometimes not all of my students are there, so that I can focus on teaching the students that really care and want to be there.  The general response I get when I voice that question aloud is always, “Sarah, of course it’s okay!  You are holding high expectations for the students who are in class!”  True.  But what does that say about my expectations for the students who aren’t as smart, motivated, or behaviorally adept?  Not a whole lot, as far as I can tell…

First off, suggestions on how to find the silver lining… Between sometimes negative staff departments, frustrated students, very long hours, not enough desks for my students, and a host of other daily distractions, it has been getting harder and harder to stay positive. Normally that’s not an issue for me, but lately it has been quite difficult. SO, any simple sayings, thoughts or images that can keep things with a sense of possibility would be awesome.

Secondly, I need some suggestions on fund-raisers. I want to provide some extrinsic rewards for my students (a trip to a college or pro basketball game for everyone who gets an A or B first semester and a trip to a Shakespeare theater second semester; gift cards to local spots; school supplies and books; etc.)… But I am at a loss for how to fundraise, especially since the money probably won’t come from my students’ parents or from them… Suggestions?

On a final note, today was rough. One of the students at our school (not my student) was shot in the back this past Friday, and he got out of the hospital this evening. There was some discussion about that at school today. I wanted to curl up and cry tonight, but I graded tests instead.

I can already forsee some of my friends wondering why I chose the quote above to introduce my philosophy of education… I have been asked by a lot of people over the past few months what my Theory of Education is.  For the most part, Teach For America’s is a good one:  “One day, every child will have the opportunity to achieve an excellent education.”  This implies both that we are not at that point, and that it is possible.  However, this statement leaves students on such a grand scale that it is still a faceless statement to me.  Thus, I chose to use Lou Ann Walker’s quote, “Theories of education don’t matter a whit…” because it reminds me of the individual gifts and struggles that every person brings into the classroom.

Education is, of course, about systems and institutions.  But every institution is made up of unique human beings.

I will start with a brief overview of what school is like at Austin Busines and Entrepreneurship Academy (ABEA).  We are a small school on the fourth floor of a once-huge school; now, the first floor is all administration, the second is Austin Polytechnical, the third floor is Austin Voice and we are on the fourth and final floor.  Students wear uniforms that need to be tucked in at all times, with no sagging pants, and no earrings for the boys.  Shoes have to be all-black, including the soles, because students have been known to show gang affiliations through their shoes.

I teach six class periods, with two subjects; Freshman Reading and Freshman Literature/Language Arts.  Because the classes are structure this way, I have all my students twice in the same day.  I like that because it lets me see into their learning in a more intense way than if I only taught them once a day.  However, it is difficult to keep their attention by the end of the day; they are used to my voice, face, interaction style and routines.

It is not surprising to me that two boys chose my ninth period class to fist fight with each other two weeks ago.  I found out later that the tension between them had been mounting all day long, but at the time, I felt like the worst teacher in the history of education.  It was such a sinking feeling to realize that the safety and routine of my classroom was put in Jeopardy for all my students because two boys couldn’t control their tempers…  But, thankfully, we all moved on and things are back to normal now.

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